====== English Teaching Theatre - Unit 07 - Fire Practice ======

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<poem>

//The fire chief is in the fire station. Someone knocks loudly at the door.//

**Fire chief** Come in!

//Foggins comes in.//

**Foggins	**Don't panic!!!

**Fire chief**	Can I help you?

**Foggins	**Yes. I want a job.

**Fire chief** You want a job.

**Foggins** Yes. I want to be a fireman.

**Fire chief** You want to be a fireman?

**Foggins	**That’s right.

**Fire chief** Why do you want to be a fireman?

**Foggins** Well, I like smashing things - like doors, and windows, and tables -Fire chief Well, I don’t know...

**Foggins	**Please!

**Fire chief** What's your name?

**Foggins	**Foggins.

**Fire chief**	Foggins?

**Foggins** Yeah, ‘Smasher’ Foggins.

**Fire chief** Well, Mr Foggins, do you know anything about the Fire Service? For example, what is the most important thing in a fireman’s equipment?

**Foggins** What is...the meaning of the word 'equipment'?

**Fire chief** Equipment...you know...things. What is the most important thing a fireman’s got?

**Foggins** His axe.

**Fire chief**	Wrong.

**Foggins** What is it, then?

**Fire chief**	His telephone.

**Foggins**	His telephone?

**Fire chief**	Yes, Foggins.

**Foggins** You can’t smash doors with a telephone.

**Fire chief** That’s right, Foggins. But when this telephone rings, someone is in trouble. When this telephone rings, someone needs help. When this telephone rings, someone needs the Fire Service.

//The telephone rings. The fire chief answers it.//

**Fire chief** Not now, I'm busy.

//He puts down the telephone.//

**Fire chief** (//To Foggins//) So, Foggins, the most important part of our equipment is -

**Foggins** - the telephone.

**Fire chief** Right! OK, Foggins, I’ve got an idea. You can do fire practice today with the new firemen. Would you like to meet them?

**Foggins** Yes, please.

**Fire chief** Good. Boggins!

//Boggins comes in.//

**Boggins** Sir!

**Fire chief** Coggins!

//Coggins comes in.//

**Coggins** Sir!

**Fire chief** Foggins, this is Boggins and Coggins. Boggins, Coggins and Foggins. Coggins, Foggins and Boggins. Right - fire practice. Question one. Boggins!

**Boggins** Yes, sir!

**Fire chief** Where do most fires start?

**Boggins** In a box of matches, sir.

**Fire chief**	No. Coggins?

**Coggins** Don’t know, sir.

**Fire chief** Foggins?

**Foggins** What was the question again?

**Fire chief** Where do most fires start?

**Foggins** At the fire station.

**Fire chief** No, Foggins. The answer is: In your house.

**Foggins** What?!

**Fire chief** Yes, Foggins. In your house.

**Foggins** Well, I’m not staying here, then.

//Foggins goes towards the door.//

**Fire chief** Where are you going?

**Foggins** I’m going home.

**Fire chief** Why?

**Foggins** You said most fires start in my house.

**Fire chief** Not in your house, Foggins. In everybody's house.

**Boggins/Coggins** - What?!

**Foggins** -

//They panic. The fire chief blows his whistle.//

**Fire chief** Look - don’t panic It’s just an expression. It means 'houses in general'.

**Boggins/Coggins** - Oh.

**Foggins** -

**Fire chief** Now, question two. Coggins!

**Coggins** Sir!

**Fire chief** What should you do if there's a fire in your house?

**Coggins** Go next door, sir.

**Fire chief** No, Coggins. You should call the Fire Service.

**Coggins** Ooh, good idea, sir.

**Fire chief** And that’s where we start work. Because the most important part of our equipment is 

**Boggins/Coggin/Foggins** — the telephone!

**Fire chief** Right! Now, telephone practice. Boggins!

**Boggins** Sir!

**Fire chief** Give the telephone to Coggins.

**Boggins** Sir!

//Boggins gives the telephone to Coggins.//

**Fire chief** Coggins!

**Coggins** Sir?

**Fire chief** You are the telephone. Foggins!

**Foggins** What?

**Fire chief** You are the telephone bell.

**Foggins** What do you mean?

**Fire chief** When I blow my whistle, make a ringing noise. Telephone practice - begin!

//The fire chief blows his whistle. Foggins makes a noise like an ambulance.//

**Fire chief** Not an ambulance, Foggins - a telephone! Start again.

//The fire chief blows his whistle again.//

**Foggins** Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

**Fire chief**	Boggins.

**Foggins** Ring, ring.

**Boggins** Yes, sir?

**Foggins** Ring, ring.

**Fire chief**	The telephone’s ringing.

**Foggins** Ring, ring.

**Boggins** No, it isn't sir.

**Foggins** Ring, ring.

**Boggins** It's Foggins, sir, He’s going ‘Ring, ring', sir. 

**Foggins**	Ring, ring.

**Boggins**	There you are, sir.

**Fire chief**	Boggins, answer the telephone!

**Foggins**	Ring, ring.

**Boggins**	All right, sir.

//Boggins picks up the telephone.//

**Foggins**	Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

**Fire chief**	Foggins!

**Foggins**	Ring - What?

**Fire chief**	Stop it!

**Foggins**	Brrrrrr.

**Boggins**	Nobody there, sir.

**Fire chief**	Let’s start again.

//Boggins puts down the telephone.//

**Fire chief** Telephone practice - begin!

//The fire chief blows his whistle again.//

**Foggins**	Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

//Boggins picks up the telephone.//

**Boggins**	Hello?

**Fire chief**	Fire station.

**Boggins**	Oh, hello, fire station!

**Fire chief** No, Boggins! You are the fire station. 

**Boggins** Oh, yes. Sorry, sir. Hello? Fire station.

**Fire chief** (//In a high voice//) Help! Help!

**Boggins** Is something wrong, sir?

**Fire chief** No, Boggins. I am an old lady. I’m an old lady, and my house is on fire. That's why I’m calling the fire station.

**Boggins** I see, sir.

**Fire chief**	Continue.

**Boggins** Hello, old lady. Can I help you?

**Fire chief** (//In a high voice//) Yes. There’s a fire in my kitchen.

**Boggins** OK. We’re on our way.

//Boggins puts down the telephone.//

**Boggins** Was that all right, sir?

**Fire chief** Boggins, where is the fire?

**Boggins** In the old lady's kitchen, sir.

**Fire chief**	Where is the old lady’s	kitchen?

**Boggins**	In the old lady's house, sir.

**Fire chief**	Where is the	house?

**Boggins**	Oh, dear!

//The telephone rings.//

**Fire chief** Foggins, stop making that noise.

**Foggins** It’s not me - it’s the telephone.

**Fire chief** Is it? Oh, right Coggins!

**Coggins**	Sir?

**Fire chief** Answer the telephone.

**Coggins**	Sir!

//Coggins answers the telephone//.

**Coggins** Yes...Yes...Yes...Yes...Yes...Yes. OK, we’re on our way.

//Coggins puts down the telephone.//

Fire chief Very good, Coggins. What is it?

**Coggins**	A fire, sir.

**Fire chief**	Did you get the	name?

**Coggins**	Yes, sir.

**Fire chief**	Did you get the	address?

**Coggins**	Yes, sir.

**Fire chief** Do you know how to get there?

**Coggins**	Yes, sir.

**Fire chief** Right. Get in line and don’t panic. This is your first fire. Coggins, where's the fire?

**Coggins** In Railway Street, sir.

**Fire chief** In Rail - In Railway Street?!

**Coggins** Yes, sir.

**Fire chief**	What number?

**Coggins**	Number 44, sir.

**Fire chief** What?! Quick! Hurry up! Get out of here and do something!

**Foggins** All right, all right - you said ‘Don't panic'.

**Fire chief** Never mind 'Don't panic’. Panic!

**Boggins** What’s the matter, sir? It's just a house on fire.

**Fire chief** Yes, but it's my house! Panic!

//They panic.//

</poem>

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~~DISCUSSION~~