====== English Teaching Theatre - Unit 04 - The Doctor ======

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<poem>
//The doctor is sitting at his desk. The telephone rings: the student-doctor is calling.//
**Doctor** Hello?
**Student** Doctor Watson?
**Doctor** Yes?
**Student	**My name’s Smith.
**Doctor	**What’s the matter with you?
**Student** Nothing, doctor. I’m fine.
**Doctor** Really? In that case, why are you calling?
**Student	**Well, I’m a doctor.
**Doctor	**You're a doctor?
**Student** Actually, I’m a student-doctor.
**Doctor	**You’re a student?
**Student	**- doctor.
**Doctor	**Yes?
**Student** Er...I’m a student-doctor.
**Doctor** Ah! A student-doctor!
**Student** Yes, I’m studying to be a doctor, doctor.
**Doctor** A doctor-doctor? What’s a doctor-doctor?
**Student** Well, you’re a doctor, doctor.
**Doctor	**Am I?
**Student** Yes, and I’d like to come and watch you working.
**Doctor** Fine. Come any time. Goodbye.
//The doctor puts the telephone down. There is a knock at the door.//
**Doctor** Come in!
//The patient enters. He has one arm in a sling.//
**Patient** Good morning, doctor.
**Doctor** (//To the patient//) Ah, you must be the student-doctor. 
**Patient** Pardon?
**Doctor** Student-doctor.
**Patient** Student-doctor? No, actually, I’m - Doctor. Sit down.
//The patient sits down.//
**Doctor** Now, you want to watch me working.
**Patient** Er...No, actually, I'm not a -
//There is another knock at the door.//
**Doctor** Ah. That’ll be my first patient. Come in!
//The student-doctor comes in.//
**Student** Good morning, doctor.
**Doctor** Good morning. (//To the student-doctor, indicating the patient//) This is a student- doctor. He’s come to watch me working. (//To the patient, indicating the student- doctor//) This is a patient. I’m going to ask her a few questions.
**Student** Doctor?
**Doctor** Yes?
**Student** I’m a student-doctor.
**Doctor** Really?
**Student** Yes.
**Doctor** (//To the patient, indicating the student-doctor//) She’s a student-doctor. Like you. 
**Patient** I’m not a student-doctor.
**Doctor	**You’re not a student?
**Patient** - doctor.
**Doctor** Yes?
**Student** I think he’s a patient, doctor.
**Doctor** A patient doctor? That’s marvellous! Patient doctors are the best kind.
**Student** No! I’m a student-doctor - he’s a patient.
**Doctor** I’m a student-doctor - he’s a patient.
**Patient** No! I’m a patient - you're a doctor.
**Doctor** I’m a patient - you’re a doctor.
**Patient/Student** No!!
**Student** You're a doctor - he’s a patient!
**Doctor** You’re a doctor - he’s a patient!
**Patient/Student** No!!
**Patient** You’re a doctor - she’s a student-doctor. 
**Doctor** You’re a doctor - she’s a student-doctor.
**Patient/Student** No!!
**Student	**(//Indicating//) Student-doctor... doctor... patient, doctor.
**Patient** (//Indicating//) Patient...doctor...student-doctor, doctor.
**Doctor** (//Pointing in various directions//) Doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor! (//Indicating correctly//) Patient...doctor...student-doctor.
**Student** Yes!!
**Doctor** Well, I’m glad that’s all clear. Goodbye.
**Student** Doctor?
**Doctor** Yes?
**Student** I think you should examine the patient.
**Doctor	**Examine him?
**Student	**Find out what’s wrong.
**Doctor** What a good idea! Now, when you examine a patient, the first thing you must do is tell the patient to sit down. You try it.
**Student**(//To the patient//) Sit down.
**Patient** I'm already sitting down.
**Student** He’s already sitting down.
**Doctor** Ah, this is a very common problem. If the patient is already sitting down, don’t tell him to sit down.
**Student** Oh. (//To the patient//) Don’t sit down.
**Patient** Oh. Right.
//The patient stands up.//
**Doctor** Sit down!
**Patient** Right.
//The patient sits down.//
**Doctor** Now, when the patient is sitting down, what’s the first thing you should do?
**Student** Take his temperature?
//She feels the patient's forehead.//
**Doctor** No.
**Student** Feel his pulse?
//She feels the patient's pulse (on his good arm).//
**Doctor** No.	
**Student** Tell him to say ‘Aah’?
**Doctor** Pardon?
**Student** Say ‘Aah’.
**Doctor** ‘Aah!’
**Student** No - him.
**Doctor** ‘Himmm!’
**Student** No! Tell him to say ‘Aah’.
**Doctor** Ah! Him! (//To the patient//) Say ‘Aah’.
**Patient** Pardon?
**Doctor** Say ‘Aah’.
**Patient** Aah.
**Doctor** Good!
**Patient** Actually, doctor, the problem is my arm – 
**Doctor** Now we can ask the patient some questions.
**Student** Questions?
**Doctor** Yes - and here they are.
//The doctor gives the student-doctor a list of questions.//
**Doctor** Go on - you can ask him the questions.
**Student** Oh. Right.
**Doctor** (//To the patient//) Now listen very carefully, because we have some very important questions for you.
**Patient** But doctor, the problem is -
**Doctor** (//To the student-doctor//) Read the first question.
**Student** Are you Mrs Elisabeth Robinson of 45 Shakespeare Avenue?
**Patient** No.
**Doctor** Correct.
**Student** Is this your first baby?
**Patient** What?
**Doctor** Try the next one.
**Student** What is the capital of Uruguay?
**Patient** Montevideo.
**Doctor** Correct. Well, there's nothing wrong with his South American geography.
**Patient** But doctor -
**Doctor** You’re fine. You can go now.
**Student** Doctor!
**Doctor** Yes?
**Student** I really think you should examine the patient.
**Doctor** Good idea.
//The doctor places his stethoscope on the patient's chest.//
**Doctor** Cough.
//The patient coughs.//
**Doctor** Cough.
//The patient coughs.//
**Doctor** Cough.
//The patient coughs.//
**Doctor** Cough.
//The patient coughs.//
**Doctor** Cough.
//The patient coughs.//
**Doctor** I know what’s wrong with him.
**Student** What?
**Doctor** He’s got a cough.
**Student** He’s got a cough?!
**Doctor** Yes - and I, Doctor Watson, have got the answer.
//The doctor produces a bottle of medicine from his pocket.//
**Doctor**(//Pointing at the bottle//) ‘Doctor Watson's Universal Cough Remedy.’
**Student** ‘Doctor Watson’s Universal Cough Remedy’?
**Doctor** Yes.
**Student** But what about his arm!
**Doctor** Er... (//Pointing at the bottle again//) ‘Doctor Watson's Universal Cough and Arm Remedy.’
**Student** ‘Universal Cough and Arm Remedy'?
**Doctor** Yes - and this is how it works. He can drink it -
//He makes the patient drink some of the medicine.//
**Patient** Aaargh!
**Doctor** - but it tastes horrible. Or he can rub it on his back -
//He rubs some of the medicine on the patient's back.//
**Doctor** - but he must mix it with water first.
**Patient** Aa.. .aaa.. .aaargh!
**Doctor** As you can see, he’s feeling much better now. All he needs is six months in hospital. Let’s take him away.
**Student** Where? To the hospital?
**Doctor** No, to the bus stop. Come on!
//The doctor and the student-doctor help the patient to his feet, and they all leave.//

</poem> 


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~~DISCUSSION~~