====== English Teaching Theatre - Unit 02 - The  Ticket Inspector ======

http://e-repa.ru/speech-practice/conversation-practice/ticket-inspector/ticket-inspector.html

<poem>
**Scene** 
A compartment on a train 

**Characters** 
A passenger on a train 
A ticket inspector 
A steward and a waiter

The passenger is sitting in a compartment on a train. He is reading a newspaper. The steward opens the door.

**Steward** Coffee!

**Passenger** No, thanks.

//The passenger closes the door, and continues reading. The waiter opens the door.//

**Waiter**	Seats for dinner!

**Passenger**	No, thanks.

//The passenger closes the door again, and continues reading. The ticket inspector opens the door.//

**Inspector** Tickets!

**Passenger** No, thanks.

**Inspector** Pardon?

**Passenger** I don’t want a ticket, thank you.

**Inspector** I’m not selling tickets, sir.

**Passenger** No?

**Inspector** No, I want to see your ticket.

**Passenger** Oh, I haven’t got a ticket.

**Inspector** You haven’t got a ticket?

**Passenger** No. I never buy a ticket.

**Inspector**	Why not?

**Passenger**	Well, they are very expensive, you know.

**Inspector** Sir, you’re travelling on a train. When people travel on a train, they always buy a ticket. 

**Passenger** Er -

**Inspector** And this is a first-class compartment.

**Passenger** Yes, it is very nice, isn’t it?

**Inspector** No, sir. I mean: This is a first-class compartment. When people travel in a first-class compartment, they always buy a first-class ticket.

**Passenger** No, they don't.

**Inspector**	What?

**Passenger** A lot of people don't buy tickets. The Queen doesn’t buy a ticket, does she? Eh? Eh? 

**Inspector** No, sir, but she's a famous person.

**Passenger** And what about you? Where's yours?

**Inspector**	Mine?

**Passenger** Yes, yours. Your ticket. Have you got a ticket?

**Inspector**	Me, sir?

**Passenger**	Yes, you.

**Inspector**	No, I haven't	got	a	ticket.

**Passenger** Ooh - are you a famous person?

**Inspector**	(//Flattered//) Famous? Well, not very - (//Back to normal//) Sir, I am a ticket inspector.

I inspect tickets. Are you going to show me your ticket?

**Passenger**	No, I haven't	got	a	ticket.

**Inspector**	I see.

//The ticket inspector puts his hand into his pocket.//

**Passenger** What are you going to do?

**Inspector** I'm going to write your name in my book.

**Passenger**	Oh.

**Inspector** What is your name, sir?

**Passenger**	Mickey Mouse.

//The inspector begins to write.//

**Inspector**	Mickey -

**Passenger**	- Mouse. M-O-U-S-E.

//The inspector stops writing.//

**Inspector**	Your name, sir?

**Passenger** Karl Marx? William Shakespeare? Charles Dickens?

**Inspector** I see, sir. Well, if you’re not going to tell me your name, please leave the train. 

**Passenger**	Pardon?

**Inspector**	Leave the train.

**Passenger**	I can’t.

**Inspector**	You can’t what?

**Passenger**	I can’t leave the train.

**Inspector**	Why not?

**Passenger**	It’s moving.

**Inspector**	Not now, sir. At the	next station.

**Passenger**	Oh.

**Inspector** It’s in the book, sir. When you travel by train, you buy a ticket, and if you don’t buy a ticket, you -

**Passenger&Inspector** leave the train.

**Inspector** Here we are, sir. We're coming to a station. Please leave the train now.

**Passenger**	Now?

**Inspector**	Yes, sir. I’m sorry, but	-

**Passenger**	Oh, that’s OK.

**Inspector** - it’s in the book, and - What did you say?

**Passenger**	I said: ‘That’s OK.’

**Inspector**	OK?

**Passenger** Yes, this is my station. Goodbye.

//The passenger leaves the train.//

</poem>

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