Scene A rehearsal room in a theatre Characters Five actors taking a tea break: Tom, Jerry, Jane, Martin, Sara
Jerry All right. That’s enough. It’s time for a cup of tea.
Tom Oh, good. A cup of tea. I can’t wait.
Jerry, Jane, Martin and Sara sit down. There is no chair for Tom.
Jane OK, Tom, make the tea.
Sara Yes, make the tea.
Tom Make the tea? Me?
Jane Why not?
Tom All right. What do I have to do? I mean, how do you make tea?
Jerry Huh! He doesn’t know how to make tea!
Tom OK, Jerry. How do you make tea?
Jerry Er…I don’t know.
The others laugh.
Martin Listen, Tom - it’s easy. Put some water in the kettle.
Sara Put the kettle on the stove.
Jane Light a match.
Martin Turn on the gas.
Sara And light the gas.
Jane Then put some tea in the teapot
Tom It sounds a bit complicated.
Jane Oh, come on! It’s easy!
Martin Listen, Tom. You don’t have to make the tea.
Tom Oh, good.
Martin You can get some from the cafe.
Tom Oh. OK. See you later.
Tom goes towards the door.
Jerry Wait a minute!
Jane You don’t know what we want yet.
Tom Oh, yes. Sorry. What do you all want? Sara?
Sara I’d like a cup of tea - with no milk and no sugar.
Tom One tea - no milk, no sugar. Jane?
Jane I’d like a cup of tea - with lots of milk and no sugar.
Tom Lots of milk - no tea. Right.
Jane No sugar!
Tom No sugar. Right. Jerry?
Jerry I'd like a lemon tea and a big cream cake.
Tom A lemon cake and a cream tea.
Tom What do you want, Martin?
Martin A whisky and soda.
Tom With milk and sugar?
Martin Of course.
Tom wants to check the orders.
Tom OK. Let me get this right. Sara, you want a cup of tea, with no milk and no sugar.
Sara Yes. Oh…No. On second thoughts, I think I’d prefer coffee.
Sara Yes, a cup of coffee - with milk and sugar.
Tom Right. So - it's one coffee with milk and sugar, and one tea with milk and sugar.
Jane No sugar!
Tom No sugar. Right. Jerry, you want a lemon tea and a big cream cake.
Jerry That’s right.
Tom And Martin - you want a whisky and soda.
Martin With milk and sugar.
Tom With milk and sugar. Right OK. See you in a minute.
Tom leaves. Very soon, he comes back.
Tom Right. Here you are. One coffee and soda, one whisky and cream, one lemon and milk, and one big sugar cake. All right?
Jane Go and make some tea.