Many people don't like lifts because they are afraid that the lift will stop between two floors and they will be trapped inside. John's story is about a lift, but he didn't get stuck inside it. You could say that he got stuck outside the lift! He tells how his situation became more and more embarrassing as time went on.
make the clean breast of - чистосердечное признание
gibberish = jibberish
bona fide [`bouna `faidi] - законный, настоящий