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speechpatterns:blog:2015-01-23-232025

English Teaching Theatre - Unit 03 - The King of Boonland

http://e-repa.ru/speech-practice/conversation-practice/the-king-banoo/king-of-boonland.html

The guard and the sergeant march to the sentry-box.

Sergeant Quick march! Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right! Halt!…Right turn!…Bradshaw!

Guard Sir!

Sergeant You are guarding Buckingham Palace.

Guard Yes, sir!

Sergeant Don’t forget!

Guard No, sir!

The sergeant leaves. The guard stands silently. The King of Boonland comes up to the guard.

King Good morning…Hello?…Nice day, isn’t it?…Do you speak English?…Sprechen Sie espanol?… I think he's deaf. Oh, well…

The King starts to go into the Palace.

Guard Oi!

King Oh! He can talk!

Guard Where are you going?

King I’m going into Buckingham Palace.

Guard Stand there!

King I don’t want to stand there. I want to go in there.

Guard Stand there!!

King Oh, all right.

Guard Who do you think you are?

King I'm Fred, King of Boonland.

Guard Well, listen to me, Fred King -

King No, no, my name isn’t Fred King. I am King Fred.

Guard Are you trying to tell me that you are a real king?

King Yes. I am the King of Boonland.

Guard Boonland?

King Yes.

Guard And where exactly is Boonland?

King Huh! You don’t know where Boonland is?

Guard No.

King Oh. OK, look at my map…

The King finds his map.

King …yes, here we are. Now, this is a map of the world.

Guard Yes.

King And Boonland is here.

Guard That is the Atlantic Ocean.

King Yes - and Boonland is in the middle.

Guard What? In the middle of the Atlantic?

King Yes.

Guard I don’t believe you.

King Eh?

Guard I think you are trying to get into Buckingham Palace.

King That's right. I am.

Guard Well, you can't.

King Yes, I can. Wait a minute - I can prove I'm the King of Boonland. Look!

Guard It’s a five-pound note.

King No, it's not five pounds.

Guard Isn't it?

King No, it's five boonos.

Guard Five boonos?

King Yes.

The guard looks at the note.

Guard Oh, yes! Five boonos. So this is the money you use in Boonland.

King Yes, it is.

Guard How many boonos are there in a pound?

King Half a million.

Guard Half a million?

King Yes, and there are one hundred boonitos in a boono.

Guard Now, listen to me -

King Ah! I can prove I'm the King of Boonland. There’s a picture of me on the one-boonito coin. Urn…Have you got change for ten boonitos?

Guard No, I haven’t!

King Oh. It’s all right. Look - one boonito coin, with a picture of me on it.

Guard Oh, yes. A picture of you.

The King nods.

Guard Tell me — why do you want to go into the Palace?

King I am here to bring the Queen the good wishes of the people of Boonland.

Guard The good wishes of the people of Boonland?

King Yes.

Guard How many people are there in Boonland?

King Well, there’s me, and my mother, and -

Guard No, No! All together! What’s the population of Boonland?

King Ah - well, there are the people in the capital -

Guard In the capital?

King Yes, Boonland City. And there are the people who live in the mountains - we call them ’the mountain people'.

Guard Very clever.

King And there are the people who live in the lake.

Guard In the lake?!

King Yes.

Guard What do you call them?

King Stupid.

They laugh.

Guard So, there are the people in the capital -

King Boonland City.

Guard - and the people who live in the mountains -

King The mountain people.

Guard - and the people who live in the lake.

King The idiots.

Guard How many is that all together?

King Urn… Fourteen.

Guard Fourteen?!

King Yes. And we want to give the Queen a special Boonese present.

Guard A special present from Boonland?

King Yes - here it is!

The King takes a banana from his bag.

Guard But that’s a banana.

King I know.

Guard What's so special about a banana?

King It isn't an ordinary banana.

Guard Isn't it?

King No. Put it in your ear.

Guard What?!

King Put the banana in your ear.

Guard Why?

King Just put the banana in your ear!

Guard All right.

The guard puts the banana in his ear.

King Can you hear anything?

Guard Oh, yes!

King What does it sound like?

Guard It sounds like an elephant with toothache.

King What?! That is the National Song of Boonland. (He sings) Oh, Boonland! */!*&*@::!*/!*

Guard Oi!

King It’s all right - I'm speaking Boonese. */!* is a word in Boonese.

Guard And what exactly does */!* mean?

King It means 'land of sunshine and bananas’.

The King sneezes.

Guard What does that mean?

King It means I’ve got a bad cold. Now give me the banana, because I don’t want to be late for tea with the Queen.

Guard Oh, right, sir. Here you are, sir.

The guard gives back the banana.

King Thank you very much. Oh, this is for you.

Guard What is it?

King Half a million boonos.

Guard Half a million boonos?!

King Yes. Go and buy yourself a cup of tea.

Discussion

Sonya SchepetovaSonya Schepetova, 2015/02/19 10:32, 2015/02/19 10:37

The guard and the sergeant marched to the sentry-box. The sergeant appointed the guard guarding the Buckingham Palace and left. The guard stood silently. The King of Boonland came up to the guard. He greeted the latter and asked him what language he spoke. The guard didn’t answer therefore the King concluded that he was deaf and started to go into the Palace. The guard didn’t endure and exclaimed ‘oi’, so the King was delighted that the guard could talk. The guard forbided to go into the Palace, but the King pressed for it. Finally he agreed to stay there and the guard asked him who he thought he was. The King introduced himself as Fred, King of Boonland. At first the guard thought that ‘King’ is the last name, but Fred said that he is King Fred. The guard was taken aback by this fact and he tried to find out where exactly is Boonland. The King ridiculed the guard, however he found his map and poked on the Atlantic Ocean saying ‘Boonland is here, in the middle’. Unfortunately, the guard didn’t believe him because he thought Fred just tried to get into the Buckingham Palace. Fred didn’t even deny, but he wanted to prove that he is real king of Boonland. So he took out a five-pound note and asserted that it was five boonos, the value of Boonland. The guard sceptically looked at the note. The King said that there was a half a million boonos in a pound and and one hundred boonitos ina boono. And Fred also showed his picture on the one-boonito to prove his rank. The guard asked the King why he wanted to go into the Palace, and the answer was that Fred wanted to bring the good wishes of the people of Boonland which population was fourteen. There were few different groups of the people: people, who lived in the capital – Boonland City, people, who lived in the mountains – ‘the mountain people’, people, who lived in the lake – idiots (in that moment the both laughed). So the King wanted to give the Queen a special Boonese present, which was…a banana. He tried to convince the guard of the eccentricity of that banana, but the latter needed to put that banana in his ear to understand the essence, so he did it. The guard heard sounds like an elephant with toothache, which was called ‘the National Boonland Song’ by Fred. The King started to speak Boonese, and the guard understood nothing. Suddenly he sheezed, and Fred was sure that he tried to say something, but the guard on;e had got a bad cold. The guard became once and for all entangled, so he gave the banana back and passed Fred, who gave him ‘half a million boonos’ to buy a cup of tea.

Sonya SchepetovaSonya Schepetova, 2015/02/19 11:19, 2015/02/19 11:28

The guard and the sergeant marched to the sentry-box near the Buckingham Palace. The sergeant brought the guard to provide his service to the entry to the Palace and left. The guard stood silently. The King of Boonland came up to the guard and greeted the latter in different languages defying if the guard could speak any of them but he guard didn’t respond therefore the King concluded that the guard was deaf and started to go into the Palace. The guard couldn’t endure that and exclaimed ‘oi’, so the King was delighted that the guard could talk. The guard forbade him to go into the Palace, but the King pressed for it but finally he agreed to stay where he was and the guard asked him who he, the King, thought he was. The King introduced himself as Fred, King of Boonland. At first the guard thought that ‘King’ was the Fred's last name, but the latter said that he was King Fred. The guard was taken aback by that fact and tried to find out where Boonland exactly was. The King ridiculed the guard, however he took out his map and poked at the Atlantic Ocean saying ‘Boonland is here, in the middle’. Unfortunately, the guard didn’t believe him because he thought Fred was just trying to gate-crash to the Buckingham Palace. Fred didn’t even deny it, but he wanted to prove that he was real king of Boonland. So he took out a five-pound note and asserted it to be five boonos, the monitary value of Boonland, and the guard looked at the note sceptically. The King said that there was a half a million boonos in a pound and one hundred boonitos in a boono. And Fred also showed his picture on the one-boonito to prove his high rank. The guard asked the King why he wanted to go into the Palace, and the answer was that Fred wanted to bring the good wishes of the people of Boonland which total population was fourteen inhabitans, there were a few different groups: people who lived in the capital – the Boonland City; people who lived in the mountains – ‘the mountain people’; and people who lived in the lake – the idiots, and at that moment the both laughed. The King said that he just wanted to give the Queen a special Boonese present, which was…a banana. He tried to convince the guard of the eccentricity of that banana, but in order to the understand the essence of it the latter needed to put that banana into his ear, which he did, and with the banana in his ear he guard heard something like sounds produced by an elephant with toothache, which Fred called ‘the National Boonland Song'. After that the King started to speak Boonese, and the guard understood nothing and suddenly sheezed, but Fred was sure that it was the guard's verbal reaction, but the guard only had got a bad cold. The guard became entangled once and for all, so he gave the banana back and let Fred pass, who gave him ‘half a million boonos’ to buy a cup of tea.

Sonya SchepetovaSonya Schepetova, 2015/02/26 14:32

The guard and the sergeant marched to the sentry-box next to the Buckingham Palace. The sergeant brought the guard to provide his service to the entry of the Palace and left away. The guard stood silently. Suddenly, The King of Boonland came up to the guard and greeted him in different languages trying to find out if the guard could speak any of them but the latter didn’t respond so the King concluded that the guard was deaf and started to go into the Palace. The guard couldn’t endure no more and exclaimed ‘oi’, so the King was very glad that the guard could talk. The guard forbade him to go into the Palace, the King pressed for it but finally he agreed to stay where he was and the guard asked him who he, the King, thought he was. The King introduced himself as Fred, King of Boonland. At first the guard thought that ‘King’ was the Fred's last name, but the latter said that he was King Fred. The guard was surprised by that fact and tried to find out where Boonland exactly was. The King ridiculed the guard, however he took out his map and poked at the Atlantic Ocean saying ‘Boonland is here, in the middle’. Unfortunately, the guard didn’t believe him because he thought Fred was just trying to gate-crash to the Buckingham Palace. Fred didn’t even deny it, but he wanted to prove that he was real king of Boonland. So he took out a five-pound note and said it was five boonos, the monitary value of Boonland, and the guard looked at the note skeptically. The King said that there was a half a million boonos in a pound and one hundred boonitos in a boono. And Fred also showed picture of his face on the one-boonito to prove his high rank. The guard asked the King why he wanted to go into the Palace, and the answer was that Fred wanted to bring the good wishes of the people of Boonland which total population was fourteen inhabitans, and there were a few different groups: people who lived in the capital – the Boonland City; people who lived in the mountains – ‘the mountain people’; and people who lived in the lake – the idiots, and at that moment the both laughed. The King said that he just wanted to give the Queen a special Boonese present, which was a banana. He tried to show the guard the eccentricity of that banana, but in order to understand it the latter needed to put that banana into his ear, what he did, and with the banana in his ear he guard heard something like sounds produced by an elephant with toothache, which Fred called ‘the National Boonland Song'. After that the King started to speak Boonese, and the guard understood nothing. Suddenly he sneezed, but Fred was sure that it was the guard’s reaction to his words, but the guard only had got a bad cold. So the guard became entangled once and for all, so he gave the banana back and let Fred pass, who gave him ‘half a million boonos’ to buy a cup of tea.

Sonya SchepetovaSonya Schepetova, 2015/02/26 15:07, 2015/02/26 15:20

The guard was providing his service to the entry to the Buckingham Palace. Fred, The King of Boonland came up to the guard and provoked him into talking. The King wanted to get into the palace to bring the good wishes of the people of Boonland to the Queen. The guard tried to find out where Boonland exactly was and the King said it was in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. To prove his King's rank, Fred took out a five-pound note and said it was the monitary value of Boonland. The King also spoke about his country and said that he just wanted to give the Queen a special Boonese present, a banana. To understand the eccentricity of this banana the guard needed to put that banana into his ear to hear ‘the National Boonland Song', but the latter became entangled once and for all, so he gave the banana back and let Fred pass, who gave him ‘half a million boonos’ to buy a cup of tea.

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speechpatterns/blog/2015-01-23-232025.txt · Last modified: 2015/02/17 10:24 by schyuri