====== English Teaching Theatre - Unit 08 - The Post Office ====== {{http://e-repa.ru/speech-practice/conversation-practice/post-office/01.png }} http://e-repa.ru/speech-practice/conversation-practice/post-office/the-post-office.html A post office in Britain The post office clerk A customer\\ **Clerk **Good morning.\\ **//The customer does not react.\\ // Clerk **Good morning!\\ **//The customer still does not react.\\ // Clerk **Can I help you?\\ ** Customer **Pardon?\\ ** Clerk **Can I help you?\\ ** Customer **I can't hear you!\\ ** Clerk **Can I help you?!\\ ** Customer **I can’t hear you. You're too far away.\\ ** Clerk **Well, come over here.\\ ** Customer **Pardon?\\ ** Clerk **Come over here!!-\\ ** Customer **Come over there?\\ ** Clerk **Yes!!!\\ ** Customer **I can’t. I've got to wait here.\\ ** Clerk **No, you haven’t.\\ ** Customer **Yes, I have. This sign says ‘Wait here'.\\ ** Clerk **Yes, but you’re the only customer. So you can come over here! \\ ** Customer **Oh. Right.\\ **//The customer goes to the counter.\\ // Clerk **Now...can I help you?\\ ** Customer **Can I send a parcel to Australia?\\ ** Clerk **Yes, you can.\\ ** Customer **Good. I want to send this to my daughter.\\ **//The customer produces a large parcel from her bag. The parcel is shaped like a fish.\\ // Clerk **What's this? //**(Reading the label on the parcel**//) ‘Contents: One coffee-pot.' A coffee-pot?\\ ** Customer **Yes.\\ ** Clerk **It doesn’t //look// like a coffee-pot.\\ ** Customer **Doesn't it?\\ ** Clerk **No.\\ **//The clerk bangs the parcel on the counter.\\ // Customer **Be careful!\\ ** Clerk **And it doesn’t //sound// like a coffee-pot. And... //**(Sniffing the parcel**//) ...it doesn’t //smell //like a coffee-pot. It smells like a fish.\\ ** Customer **All right, all right, it’s a fish.\\ ** Clerk **Well, I’ m sorry, you can’t send a fish by post.\\ ** Customer **Why not?\\ ** Clerk **Look. It’s in the book: ‘No food by post.’\\ ** Customer //(Reading from the book//**) ‘No food by post.’ Food?! This isn't food! This is Napoleon! \\ **Clerk **Napoleon?\\ ** Customer **Yes, Napoleon. He's my daughter’s fish. And my daughter lives in Australia. That’s why I want to send him to Australia.\\ ** Clerk **Well, you can’t send him by post.\\ ** Customer **Please!\\ ** Clerk **No.\\ ** Customer **Please!!\\ ** Clerk **Oh, all right. But there's no name on the parcel.\\ ** Customer **Oh, sorry. **//(She starts writing)// **'Nap-o-le-'\\ ** Clerk **Not the name of the //fish.// Your //daughter’s// name. What is your daughter's name? \\ **Customer **Josephine.\\ ** Clerk **Josephine. And what is her second name?\\ ** Customer **Elisabeth.\\ ** Clerk **No - when I said ‘her //second// name’, I meant her //family// name. What is her //family// name? \\ ** Customer **It’s the same as mine.\\ ** Clerk **Yes. But what is it?\\ ** Customer **Wellington.\\ ** Clerk **Wellington.\\ ** Customer **Yes.\\ ** Clerk **So...your daughter's name is Josephine Elisabeth Wellington.\\ ** Customer **Yes.\\ ** Clerk **Address?\\ ** Customer **Pardon?\\ ** Clerk **Address. Where does she live in Australia?\\ ** Customer **Er...\\ ** Clerk **Sydney?\\ ** Customer **No.\\ ** Clerk **Melbourne?\\ ** Customer **No.\\ ** Clerk **Adelaide?\\ ** Customer **Adelaide!\\ ** Clerk **Adelaide.\\ ** Customer **No. Ah, I remember - Vienna!\\ ** Clerk **Vienna?\\ ** Customer **Vienna.\\ ** Clerk **Vi enna's in //Austria.\\ //** Customer **That’s what I said.\\ ** Clerk **No, you didn't. You said "Australia"\\ ** Customer **Did I?\\ ** Clerk **So this is going to Josephine Wellington in Vienna, Austria.\\ ** Customer **Yes. How much is it?\\ ** Clerk **That depends on the weight.\\ ** Customer **Pardon?\\ ** Clerk **Weight.\\ ** Customer **Oh. OK.\\ **The //customer// starts //walking back// to // the *Wait here* sign.//\\ // Clerk// **No! I didn't say //**(Indicating the sign**//) ‘//wait'.// I said **//(Indicating// the //scales on the counter) //** //'weight'.\\ // **//The clerk weighs the parcel.\\ // Clerk **Two and a half kilos. That’s 17.50 pounds.\\ ** Customer **17.50 pounds?! That’s very expensive.\\ ** Clerk **Well, he //is// going by air.\\ ** Customer **By air? Napoleon can't go by air!\\ ** Clerk **Why not?\\ ** Customer **He’s a fish, not a bird.\\ ** Clerk **No, he's going on an aeroplane.\\ ** Customer **On an aeroplane?\\ ** Clerk **Yes,\\ ** Customer **How extraordinary! //I'm// going on an aeroplane today.\\ ** Clerk **Really?\\ ** Customer **Yes. I'm going to visit my daughter.\\ ** Clerk **Your daughter Josephine?\\ ** Customer **Yes.\\ ** Clerk **In Vienna?\\ ** Customer **Yes.\\ ** Clerk **Well, why don’t you take Napoleon with you?\\ ** Customer **Take Napoleon with me?\\ ** Clerk **Yes. On the aeroplane.\\ ** Customer **Take Napoleon with me on the aeroplane?\\ ** Clerk **Yes! To Vienna!\\ ** Customer **Of course! Take Napoleon with me on the aeroplane to Vienna! \\ ** Clerk **Yes!\\ ** Customer **And then when I get to Vienna...\\ ** Clerk **Yes!!\\ ** Customer **...I can post him from there!\\ //**The customer picks up the parcel and leaves.**//\\ {{tag>}} ~~DISCUSSION~~